1. Stop the fight right away and ask your children to express how they are feeling calmly with their hands in their pockets.
2. Send them to the forgiving bench. On this bench there are strict rules:
– Only one person can talk at a time while the other one listens until they are DONE!
– The person talking has to start their turn by saying “I don’t like it when…” or “You hurt my feelings when…”
– They have to find a solution that both of them are happy with and hug.
– They BOTH have to say sorry to each other and they both have to say “I forgive you” before they can get up (hence the name, forgiving bench).
3. Make them hold hands and sing a song to you swaying back and forth! I know that sounds so stupid, but it really works, they feel silly so they can’t help but smile. This works for my 10 year old son, he never wants to do it, so it’s the best punishment for him!
4. Make them hug for 3 straight minutes! They will come away giggling. (although it doesn’t solve any major problems, so I just use #3 and #4 for small fights)
5. It always helps to stop my children from fighting by making them stop and look at the person they are hurting. Sometimes they don’t understand that they are actually hurting their siblings feelings. I try to teach them to have compassion and think about the things they are saying and how it affects the person they’re fighting with. I always ask, “How would you feel if she was saying these things to you?” And open up a dialogue about the “Golden Rule”.
6. If my children are fighting over an object, that object always becomes mine until they can come to an agreement.
7. Once a fight is over each child owes the other one a job.
8. If lying becomes a part of the fight. The child who lied owes me a job on top of whatever they owe their sibling.
Hope these can help you a little in your home. Let me know in a comment if you have some great ideas too!
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