How I’ve Gone 20 Years Without a Speeding Ticket

The other day I was driving down the road and I was looking at the cop that sits under the same tree, in the shade, waiting to pounce on her next victim. She always catches people on the same street, in the same place, every single day. Why don’t people learn?

So I started thinking about the last time I had a speeding ticket, and I was surprised when I realized that it had been 20 years since I had been pulled over for speeding! How had I done it? How have I gone so long under the radar? Then I realized, I haven’t really been speeding. I thought, I really need to share these tips with my readers because NOT speeding could not only save you some money, but it might even save a life. When people are speeding, they are usually desperate to get somewhere on time. And when people are desperate, they make stupid decisions, like speeding. And while they are speeding, they are texting the person who is waiting for them. NOT A GOOD COMBINATION, PEOPLE! So let’s all take a deep breath and say it all together “Better late than never!”.

How have I gone 20 years without a speeding ticket? I’m glad you asked . . .

1. Use your cruise control.  When I’m late it’s really easy to go a little over the speed limit, but a little turns into a lot, and it turns into anger at the slow drivers in front of me (who are actually going the speed limit). So I use my cruise control and set it to about 3 MPH over the posted speed limit. That way I’m not completely making the people behind me angry. But DO NOT use your cruise control when the roads are wet or slippery. This can cause serious problems.
2. Set the clocks in your house a little fast then forget about it. Once I set the clocks ahead in my house, I actually forget how many minutes I set them ahead, so I just make sure we are going my the time on the clocks in the house, and not the real time. BETTER YET, don’t tell anyone else that you set the clocks ahead, that way everyone will be ready to go earlier than normal!
3. Set an alarm in your phone. Make sure you set an alarm for the things you need to be on time for. Have the alarm go off an hour early, 30 minutes early, 15 minutes early, then 10 minutes early and try to beat the alarm by being in the car by the time the last alarm goes off.
4. Be prepared to leave the house. DO NOT wait until the last second to pack the diaper bag, ask the kids if they need to use the bathroom or check the baby’s diaper when it’s time to LEAVE. Do those things at least 30 minutes before you have to be in the car. When your phone warns you that you have 30 minutes before you have to leave, stop what you’re doing and get prepared to leave.
5. Don’t worry, be happy. Always have soothing music ready in your car so that you can turn it on if you are running late. I’m sure you just got done with a screaming match with your kids to find their shoes and get in the car. Now you need to relax and drive safely. You don’t want anything to happen to those little monsters or their mommy!
6. Text BEFORE you start driving, then put your phone on car mode. If you’re going to be late, DON’T text while you’re driving, say “HI Google . . . Text daddy, We are just leaving the house”. Not only is texting while driving illegal, IT’S REALLY DANGEROUS! You can never take back an accident, but you can control your actions. DON’T TEXT OR TALK WHILE DRIVING!

There you have it. These are all the reasons why I haven’t been pulled over for speeding in over 20 years. I hope some of these ideas help us all stay a little safer. What are some of the things you do to make sure you’re on time leaving the house?